going LOCAL
How To Get Kicked Out Of Bed!
Posted:May 25, 2018 7:01 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2018 8:12 am
188 Views



How To Get ed Out Of Bed!


Not Bling Owner



How To Get ed Out Of Bed

But everybody looks funny naked!
You woke me up for that?
Did I mention the video camera?
Do you smell something burning?
My last girlfriends died of cervical cancer Try breathing through your nose.
A little rug burn never hurt any!
Your much prettier than the whores I usually sleep with Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
Can you please pass me the remote control?
Do you accept Visa?
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
(Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
(Preparing to incorporate peanut butter)
But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
Got any penicillin?
Did I remember to take my Valtrex?
Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
Didn't I sleep with your daughter?
I want a baby!
So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
(In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...






How To Get ed Out Of Bed!
7 Comments
Find a woman with nice assets and you will have it made!
Posted:May 25, 2018 6:54 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2018 8:26 am
185 Views



Find a woman with nice assets and you will have it made!






If I buy that dress my wife's ass will look like that, right?


She just needs me to buy her expensive lingerie and her ass will then look great, right?


Find a woman with nice assets and you will have it made!
3 Comments
Fishnet Friday!
Posted:May 25, 2018 6:52 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2018 8:27 am
180 Views



Fishnet Friday!


Do tits look better in fishnets?



Does your ass look better in a fishnet?


Everything seems to feel better when my wife wears her fishnets!
What do you think?


Fishnet Friday!
3 Comments
Funny Thursday!
Posted:May 24, 2018 7:25 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2018 8:21 am
299 Views



Funny Thursday!






A night after tricks, three hookers who lived together were sitting around having coffee and discussing the tricks from the night before. The first one said " I had a fireman the night before and the other two said "How could you tell?" and she replies "That's easy ... his hose was over his shoulder and he smeld like smoke." The second one said "I had a policeman ... "The other two said "How could you tell?" and she replies "He pulled out his handcuffs and used his night stick on me." The third one said I had a farmer last night and the other two said "A farmer are you sure?" and she said "Yes, first he bitched it was too wet, then too dry and then he wanted to wait until spring to pay me."






Funny Thursday!
4 Comments
BJ Thursday!
Posted:May 24, 2018 7:23 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2018 8:24 am
328 Views



BJ Thursday!


In public?



His cock?


Any cock?


BJ Thursday!
3 Comments
Feeling it sensually Thursday!
Posted:May 24, 2018 7:20 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2018 8:22 am
300 Views



Feeling it sensually Thursday!


Are you feeling it this Thursday?



Why or why not?


It's takes two to tangle!


Feeling it sensually Thursday!
2 Comments
Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth!
Posted:May 23, 2018 8:48 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2018 12:15 pm
392 Views



Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth!


Well, everyone, have a funny Wednesday!



It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how�d you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I couldn�t help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn�t be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said, "Look you little Reese�s Pieces, don�t be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don�t you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit �O� Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good �N� Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!

Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar was invented in 1900.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups was invented 1923.
Butterfinger was invented in 1923.
Snickers Bar was invented in 1930.
3 Musketeers Bar was invented in 1932.
Kit Kat was invented 1933.
Nestle's Crunch was invented 1938
M&M's were invented in 1940.
Kandy Kake (original name of Baby Ruth) invented in 1920's
The Three Musketeers bar was introduced in 1932.
The original 3 Musketeers had 3 bars in one wrapper, each with a different flavor.



Some of the inventions that make our life sweeter!


Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth!
4 Comments
Happy Hump Day Wednesday!
Posted:May 23, 2018 8:23 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2018 8:40 am
394 Views



Happy Hump Day Wednesday!













Happy Hump Day Wednesday!
4 Comments
HNW--the 372nd . . . Food and Sex!
Posted:May 23, 2018 8:20 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2018 9:41 am
396 Views



HNW--the 372nd . . . Food and Sex!













HNW--the 372nd . . . Food and Sex!
8 Comments
Bee...
Posted:May 22, 2018 9:32 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2018 9:46 am
502 Views



Bee...


...happy!



Restricted Fishing Area

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside and said, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing here?" "Reading a book," she replied, thinking, "Is this guy blind or what?" "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her. "But, Officer, I'm not fishing. You can see that, surely." "But you have all the equipment, ma'am. I'll have to write you up." "If you do that, I will charge you with harasment," returned the irate woman. "But I haven't even touched you," the sheriff objected. "That's true; but you have all the equipment."
THE MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.



...smiling and a generally good mood!


Bee...
5 Comments
Wishing You Were...
Posted:May 22, 2018 9:31 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2018 10:17 am
498 Views



Wishing You Were...


...beer!



...champagne!



...wine!


Wishing You Were...
5 Comments
Happy Titty Tuesday. . . Small Tits Big Nipples!
Posted:May 22, 2018 8:59 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2018 10:20 am
545 Views



Happy Titty Tuesday. . . Small Tits Big Nipples!


Are you a nipple person?



I love a woman with nice big suckable nipples!



How about you?
Size doesn't matter right?


Happy Titty Tuesday. . . Small Tits Big Nipples!
9 Comments
Weekend Party!
Posted:May 21, 2018 10:02 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2018 10:31 am
639 Views



Weekend Party!


Did you do anything funny over the weekend?



A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment. "I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all." "Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget. The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times. "If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"



I did, as usual, too much booze and sex and today Monday I feel like I am being punished!
How about you how do you feel this Monday?


Weekend Party!
8 Comments

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